Well, you’ve probably been wondering where I’ve been? I haven’t written a blog since August. In all honesty, I’ve meant to, but okay I admit I’m just like you and have probably taken on too much. Yes, I’ve been busy, and I’ve been working on a project of mine for the past 12 months. Well let me tell you about it………actually NO, I’ll tell you about it a little later on, I’ll just keep you in a little suspense.

Firstly, I want to tell you that I’m just like you. My world isn’t perfect, and I can get overwhelmed. But then yes I practise what I preach, I take a step back and go over my to-do lists, prioritise tasks, and look at the bigger picture and focus on being mindful.

The other day one of my client’s said they saw me doing my grocery shopping and she said to her partner, “that’s my psychologist” looking surprised. With a little laughter between us, I said: “I’m normal like you”. I do grocery shopping, wash, cook and clean, I have kids, and we can have our disagreements, when I walk to work, I wear thongs and then put my shoes on. I have bad days and days when I just want to throw in the towel and give up. But then after lazing on the lounge, I pick myself up and keep going. Why? Because that’s life! It is what it is, and I can only do my best. We get thrown challenges in life, and this is what I call our problems/issues that we need to address because it is about our perception of events in life in whether we react or respond to them. While we don’t get to control the curveball thrown at us, we do get to choose our response.

While some of my clients may perceive I have a perfect life, I like so many have suffered from adversity. When my little world came crashing down that one day unexpectedly I had to make a decision, one of the biggest decisions of my life and that was to sink or swim. I chose to swim because realistically there was no choice, there were two teenage girls to drag along with me. I mean pull them along with all my strength. As I was trying to put one foot forward in front of the other and take each day as it came, I realised something. Oh so here’s my little secret…………..

READY?

Over the past twelve months, I’ve been writing a book. Yes, a book, about my true life journey discovering my New Normal after the sudden death of my husband. In this book, I write from a professional and personal perspective about grief and hopefully provide everyone with an insight into a child’s world when their father is here one day and gone the next. The book introduces my children to everyone and allows them to share how they felt in those first days, weeks and months as they adjusted alongside me in what became our New Normal.

The book ‘The New Normal: A Widows Guide to Grief’ is due to be released in January 2018.

To offer support, to widows to and their families, I’ve created a community support group to help others adjust to their New Normal. To join go to www.facebook.com/groups/widowsguidetogrief

Dr Olga Lavalle A New Normal Book

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